Teeth

So today is double whammy day – the dentist and the hygienist. My gums seem to swell in anticipation of such visits and I usually spend the week leading up to a hygienist visit frantically flossing twice a day. This time, I am sailing close to the wind and have flossed just twice in the last few days.

Going to the dentist and the hygienist are my least favourite activities. I am not sure when the tide turned as I loved going to the dentist when I was little. I remember my oldest brother always hated the dentist and always had a filling but I seemed to escape without having any. I remember having a tooth out under gas – I was told to look up and read a word on the ceiling over and over again and then close my eyes. I then felt a huge rubber mask go over my mouth and nose and I remember laughing about it. I had a vivid dream and when I woke up I was completely fine. But maybe something subconsciously happened while I was under… It wasn’t till I was in labour that I realised that it must have been laughing gas – but that’s another story best left untold though.

There was one really great dentist I went to who put noise-cancelling earphones on you and played you whatever music you wanted to drown out those horrible drilling noises and high pitch whinings. I wasn’t prepared for such luxury and when he asked me what I would like to listen to, my mind went completely blank. In the intervening silence, he said he would choose something. So I had Adele’s 19 keeping me calm while he poked around with his instruments of torture. It was exactly what I would have chosen if I wasn’t in such a blind panic. I often wonder what other people would choose…perhaps it could be a new type of game show on Radio 4 – Guess the Celebrity Dentist Playlist – hmmm that was hard to type let alone say… Feel free to send me your suggestions!

Not only is it dentist/hygienist day but tube strike day. So I may have to go home early to “beat the crush” in the same way that everyone else goes home early thus creating the “crush”.

So next time I write, I’ll have great teeth but my hair desperately needs a cut … the Bulgarian mullet needs to go!